What If...

...every time we talked with, served, related to another we saw ourselves instead?  Would we become nicer people, kinder people, gentler people, or do we not like ourselves very much and we could treat others worse if we were to see ourselves in them?   The question is a bit of a strange one I suppose but I wonder anyway.  

The idea came to my mind earlier this week when a co-worker came into my office to thank me for buying lunch.  I laughed because the co-worker had already thanked me about five times over and couldn't stop for some reason.  When I laughed and let her know how many times she thanked me she laughed as well and then stated that she was seeing herself in someone that she was serving.  The individual was getting on my co-workers last nerve as she was coming to her with every little thing over and over and over again.  My co-worker, friend, was getting shorter and shorter with her each time she dropped in again.  My comment on her thanking me five times over got a giggle because she was realizing that what she was doing to me was similar to what the client was doing to her.  I finally told my co-worker that yea, she could be really bothering me or she could just be really grateful.  

This little encounter caused my mind to shift in gear and I said "I have an idea".  What if we take pictures of everyone within our facility and make masks of each other.  We could all wear the mask of whoever we collectively decided was having the worst day for whatever reason.  We would judge the worst by behavior that was most out of character for for the person who received the dubious honor.  The person that was the shortest in temperament and disposition but normally patient, the person that grumbled and complained the most but was normally easy going, the wall flower that was normally a social butterfly etc.  

We thought we would experiment and see if seeing themselves or ourselves in everyone could get them /us to smile and return to their/our previous, more pleasant state.   This is different from everyone holding up a mirror.  The mirror would only serve to block the people we are looking at while the mask simply allows us to see a piece of ourselves including the face and eyes within the person we are relating to or being short with in that moment.  Would it change if we saw ourselves there?  Certainly we could laugh if we saw our head and face on a body that it just really didn't belong on.  But could the experience re-balance us, settle us, calm us?  

There is a french term, "Mise en Abyme" which translates placed into abyss.  Though there are many artistic uses of this term the most common description of it is being placed between two mirrors and seeing an endless and eternal view of the self.  Depending on the size and length of the mirror we would also endlessly and eternally see the context we are in.  To me that would certainly be an abyss and a very dark one at that.  

To anyone caught in that abyss I highly suggest that you stop staring into it and instead break the mirror and do so now.  Employ the use of a mask, not for yourself, but to place on others so that you can see a bit of yourself in them.  You and they are worth the kindness, forgiveness, understanding, and smile that this could generate.  

Unlike Mise en abyme  life circumstances and situations can and do change.  They change all the time. Mourning can turn to dancing and darkness is chased and eventually overcome by light.  For sure they will return but they will do so under different circumstances and at a different time because we have stopped staring in the mirror and given ourselves the possibility of new opportunities and perspectives and a different life than that offered in the abyss.